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Aquirus Severs SmirkNet Ties
Aquirus Corp., the imminent multi-billion dollar e-commerce acquisition with no discernible products or services, has severed its ties with SmirkNet Inc. Aquirus representatives cited SmirkNet's links to unintentionally funny web pages as "conceivably construed as a value-providing service, and hence outside the focus of Aquirus." Management representatives from both SmirkNet and Aquirus described the move as an amicable parting, and the respective companies agreed to remain friends but begin seeing other people.

Aquirus Corp. can now be found at aquirus.com.

Medley Robbed in Recount!
Robert Tilden Medley, 2000 candidate for U.S. Senate from the state of Washington and the first political endorsee of SmirkNet, was shamefully deprived of office by election mischief. The 2000 vote was historically close in this race, with the all three of the top candidates neck-and-neck:

Candidate/PartyVotes
Maria Cantwell, Dem. 1,199,437
Slade Gordon, Rep. 1,197,208
Robert Tilden Medley, Dem. 211

The razor-thin margin between candidates opened the door for unethical party loyalists to "count" just enough votes for Cantwell to edge out Gorton and Medley. This is your country -- every vote should count!! SmirkNet encourages you to write your congressman and demand a second recount to give R.T. Medley his just due after this shameful display of partisanship and elect the only man who has committed to a Sodomy ATM Card. Yes, while other candidates dissembled or completely ignored the major problems threatening our great nation, Medley produced a broad range of pragmatic solutions, including licensing sodomy (and issuing Gay ATM cards), denying tuition grants to colleges that do not have a freshman course in removing metal ornaments from their body, and relocating black prisoners, black social leaders, and American university Black Studies courses to a host country in Africa. America is now an information-based economy, and that means we need political leaders with high entertainment value. Robert Tilden Medley is just such a man, he is commited, and deserves to be such. Here is a fine sample, this on the handling gays:

"In the Senate, I will propose that the age of consent for sodomistic practices be twenty-one. This will allow sexual orientation confused young people to mature enough to make this judgment more wisely. Non practicing homosexuals would be exempt. Those who decide to become active sodeomists would go before a board. Doctors of medicine, psychiatry, psychology and sociology, a clergyman, as well as a practicing and a celibate homosexual would conduct an interview and evaluation. A license to practice sodomy would be granted to the applicant. Or they may be required to come back after the applicant has time to consider the counseling information. Homosexual business people could establish clubs with admission by an ATM type card. This card would remove a fee, upon entry to a club, from the account of the patron. These charges, and bonding fees to obtain an individual license, would pay for AIDS research, treatment and hospices."

Highly Recommended Pages:
Homosexuals, Guns, and More
40 Acres and a Camel (relocating black troublemakers)
Philosophy of Government (See especially Point 6 on education)

More Smirking:
Smirk of the Week Archive
More News Smirks

SmirkNet Introduces Gaywatch!
SmirkNet joins the Reverend Jerry Falwell in protecting our precious bodily fluids from the insidious Gay Agenda. For details on how to spot gay agenda machinations, click

GAYWATCH!

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